I have three very beautiful, special and amazing little children. I don't get to spend very much time with my children because their mother and I are embroiled in random, long-term disagreements.

I respect the mother of my children as the children's primary care-taker and acknowledge my responsibility in choose this woman to manifest my children through and all the karmic lessons that, that entails (which so far, are many).

I choose to step out of the picture as it became plain that their mother and I would never reconcile our differences and that possibly permanent scars were being created, not just for the kids but for us parents as well. Still as a parent and decent human being I believe that I have a right to a normal, healthy relationship with my children. Their mother would appear to disagree.

There is no happy conclusion to this story; it is an ongoing adventure through really painful and powerful emotions. As I come around at last to the need to go to court though to try to secure, through the law, a relationship with my children, I feel very, very sad. I feel that the need to go to court means that we failed as parents. Perhaps this is something that all parents go through when the romantic relationship doesn't work out but let me tell you first hand, it sucks.

I know in my heart that this is a growth process. I pray that it will get easier, or at least that I will become more competent in negotiating this new reality as time processes.



For now, I have decided to embrace the pain and the struggle and to allow it to make me bigger not smaller. Easier said than done but there it is.

In Growth and Love,

Raja Afrika

http://yoga.RajaAfrika.com