I have always been a computer programmer. I had the first Atari as a kid, I was born in the era of the first video games, my mom bought me a computer when I was 12 and I started writing my first code. I have been coding for as long as I can remember. So, does that mean that I was meant to be born and die a computer programmer?

Having a gift is an incredible thing. I have a gift for technology and in the past that gift sometimes felt like a curse. Using it often meant boring jobs in the basements or back rooms of large corporations. But what if I didn't want to do that? I once got a tattoo on my forehead in my efforts to not become a programmer in an IBM dungeon. I apprenticed myself to a small business owner for 10 years in my attempt to use my gifts in a manner that seemed satisfactory. When I first moved to Portland I got myself "certified" as a bartender and then later certified as a yoga instructor.

Here's what I've learned about new beginnings. New beginnings are hard; and scary. I am a pro web developer. I've been building websites for 16 years and I've been writing code for 24 years. I'm really good at it but I am a really new yoga teacher and really I've never "actually" bartended despite dropping all that money at the Portland Bar tending Academy (total rip by the way).

New beginnings mean that you have to begin again like a baby, necked and stupid and very reliant on the charity of others to give you a "break." It's a tough proposition. Safer to stay right where I've always been. Less scary to do what I already know. but I can see right now that facing fear, tolerating discomfort and taking chances is the only way I am ever going to break the mold of my life to date.

With Love,
Raja Afrika